Brian Friel Plays 2 Read online

  Chris He’s at school, you know.

  Gerry Never! Wow-wow-wow-wow. Since when?

  Chris Since Christmas. Kate got him in early.

  Gerry Fabulous. And he likes it?

  Chris He doesn’t say much.

  Gerry He loves it. He adores it. They all love school nowadays. And he’ll be brilliant at school. Actually I intended bringing him something small –

  Chris No, no; his aunts have him –

  Gerry Just a token, really. As a matter of interest I was looking at a bicycle in Kilkenny last Monday. But they only had it in blue and I thought black might be more – you know – manly. They took my name and all. Call next time I’m down there. Are you busy yourself?

  Chris Oh, the usual – housework – looking after his lordship.

  Gerry Wonderful.

  Chris Give Agnes and Rose a hand at their knitting. The odd bit of sewing. Pity you don’t sell sewing-machines.

  Gerry That’s an idea! Do the two jobs together! Make an absolute fortune. You have the most unbelievable business head, Chrissie. Never met anything like it.

  She laughs.

  What are you laughing at?

  Maggie You should see the way she’s looking at him – you’d think he was the biggest toff in the world.

  Kate Tinker, more likely! Loafer! Wastrel!

  Maggie She knows all that, too.

  Kate Too? That’s all there is.

  Maggie Come over till you see them, Agnes.

  Agnes Not just now.

  Gerry You’d never guess what I met on the road out from the town. Talk about good luck! A cow with a single horn coming straight out of the middle of its forehead.

  Chris You never did!

  Gerry As God is my judge. Walking along by itself. Nobody near it.

  Chris Gerry –

  Gerry And just as I was passing it, it stopped and looked me straight in the eye.

  Chris That was no cow you met – that was a unicorn.

  Gerry Go ahead and mock. A unicorn has the body of a horse. This was a cow – a perfectly ordinary brown cow except that it had a single horn just here. Would I tell you a lie?

  Chris laughs.

  Go ahead. Laugh. But that’s what I saw. Wasn’t that a spot of good luck?

  Chris Was it?

  Gerry A cow with a single horn? Oh, yes, that must be a good omen. How many cows like that have you ever met?

  Chris Thousands. Millions.

  Gerry Stop that! I’m sure it’s the only one in Ireland; maybe the only one in the world. And I met it on the road to Ballybeg. And it winked at me.

  Chris You never mentioned that.

  Gerry What?

  Chris That it winked at you.

  Gerry Unbelievable. That’s what made it all so mysterious. Oh, yes, that must be a fabulous omen. Maybe this week I’m going to sell a gramophone or two after all.

  Chris But I thought you –?

  Gerry Look! A single magpie! That’s definitely a bad omen – one for sorrow. (using his stick as a gun) Bang! Missed. (mock serious) Where’s my lucky cow? Come back, brown cow, come back!

  They both laugh.

  Kate They’re not still talking, are they?

  Maggie Laughing. She laughs all the time with him. D’you hear them, Aggie?

  Agnes Yes.

  Kate Laughing? Absolutely beyond my comprehension.

  Agnes Like so many things, Kate.

  Kate Two more minutes and Mr Evans is going to talk to me. Laughing? Hah!

  Gerry Thinking of going away for a while, Chrissie.

  Chris Where to?

  Gerry But I’ll come back to say goodbye first.

  Chris Are you going home to Wales?

  Gerry Wales isn’t my home any more. My home is here – well, Ireland. To Spain – as a matter of interest. Just for a short while.

  Chris To sell gramophones?

  Gerry Good God, no! (Laughs.) You’ll never believe this – to do a spot of fighting. With the International Brigade. A company leaves in a few weeks. Bit ridiculous, isn’t it? But you know old Gerry when the blood’s up – bang-bang-bang! – missing everybody.

  Chris Are you serious?

  Gerry Bit surprised myself – as a matter of interest.

  Chris What do you know about Spain?

  Gerry Not a lot. A little. Enough, maybe. Yes, I know enough. And I thought I should try my hand at something worthy for a change. Give Evans a Big Cause and he won’t let you down. It’s only everyday stuff he’s not successful at. Anyhow I’ve still to enlist … He’s still watching us. He thinks we don’t see him. I wouldn’t mind talking to him.

  Chris He’s a bit shy.

  Gerry Naturally. And I’m a stranger to him practically … does he know my name?

  Chris Of course he knows your name.

  Gerry Good. Thanks. Well, maybe not so good. He’s a very handsome child. With your eyes. Lucky boy.

  ‘Dancing in the Dark’ softly from the radio.

  Maggie Good for you, Aggie. What did you do to it?

  Agnes I didn’t touch it.

  Kate Turn that thing off, Aggie, would you?

  Agnes does not.

  Gerry You have a gramophone! I could have got it for you wholesale.

  Chris It’s a wireless set.

  Gerry Oh, very posh.

  Chris It doesn’t go half the time. Aggie says it’s a heap of junk.

  Gerry I know nothing about radios but I’ll take a look at it if you –

  Chris Some other time. When you come back.

  Pause.

  Gerry And Agnes is well?

  Chris Fine – fine.

  Gerry Of all your sisters Agnes was the one that seemed to object least to me. Tell her I was asking for her.

  Chris I’ll tell her.

  They listen to the music.

  Gerry Good tune.

  Suddenly he takes her in his arms and dances.

  Chris Gerry –

  Gerry Don’t talk.

  Chris What are you at?

  Gerry Not a word.

  Chris Oh God, Gerry –

  Gerry Shhh.

  Chris They’re watching us.

  Gerry Who is?

  Chris Maggie and Aggie. From the kitchen window.

  Gerry Hope so. And Kate.

  Chris And Father Jack.

  Gerry Better still! Terrific!

  He suddenly swings her round and round and dances her lightly, elegantly across the garden. As he does he sings the song to her.

  Maggie (quietly) They’re dancing.

  Kate What!

  Maggie They’re dancing together.

  Kate God forgive you!

  Maggie He has her in his arms.

  Kate He has not! The animal! (She flings the paper aside and joins Maggie at the window.)

  Maggie They’re dancing round the garden, Aggie.

  Kate Oh God, what sort of fool is she?

  Maggie He’s a beautiful dancer, isn’t he?

  Kate He’s leading her astray again, Maggie.

  Maggie Look at her face – she’s easy led. Come here till you see, Aggie.

  Agnes I’m busy! For God’s sake can’t you see I’m busy!

  Maggie turns and looks at her in amazement.

  Kate That’s the only thing that Evans creature could ever do well – was dance. (Pause.) And look at her, the fool. For God’s sake, would you look at that fool of a woman? (Pause.) Her whole face alters when she’s happy, doesn’t it? (Pause.) They dance so well together. They’re such a beautiful couple. (Pause.) She’s as beautiful as Bernie O’Donnell any day, isn’t she?

  Maggie moves slowly away from the window and sits motionless.

  Gerry Do you know the words?

  Chris I never know any words.

  Gerry Neither do I. Doesn’t matter. This is more important. (Pause.) Marry me, Chrissie. (Pause.) Are you listening to me?

  Chris I hear you.

  Gerry Will you marry me when I come back in two weeks?r />
  Chris I don’t think so, Gerry.

  Gerry I’m mad about you. You know I am. I’ve always been mad about you.

  Chris When you’re with me.

  Gerry Leave this house and come away with –

  Chris But you’d walk out on me again. You wouldn’t intend to but that’s what would happen because that’s your nature and you can’t help yourself.

  Gerry Not this time, Chrissie. This time it will be –

  Chris Don’t talk any more; no more words. Just dance me down the lane and then you’ll leave.

  Gerry Believe me, Chrissie; this time the omens are terrific! The omens are unbelievable this time!

  They dance off. After they have exited the music continues for a few seconds and then stops suddenly in mid-phrase. Maggie goes to the set, slaps it, turns it off. Kate moves away from the window.

  Kate They’re away. Dancing.

  Maggie Whatever’s wrong with it, that’s all it seems to last – a few minutes at a time. Something to do with the way it heats up.

  Kate We probably won’t see Mr Evans for another year – until the humour suddenly takes him again.

  Agnes He has a Christian name.

  Kate And in the meantime it’s Christina’s heart that gets crushed again. That’s what I mind. But what really infuriates me is that the creature has no sense of ordinary duty. Does he ever wonder how she clothes and feeds Michael? Does he ask her? Does he care?

  Agnes rises and goes to the back door.

  Agnes Going out to get my head cleared. Bit of a headache all day.

  Kate Seems to me the beasts of the field have more concern for their young than that creature has.

  Agnes Do you ever listen to yourself, Kate? You are such a damned righteous bitch! And his name is Gerry! – Gerry! – Gerry! (Now on the point of tears, she runs off.)

  Kate And what was that all about?

  Maggie Who’s to say?

  Kate Don’t I know his name is Gerry? What am I calling him? – St Patrick?

  Maggie She’s worried about Chris, too.

  Kate You see, that’s what a creature like Mr Evans does: appears out of nowhere and suddenly poisons the atmosphere in the whole house – God forgive him, the bastard! There! That’s what I mean! God forgive me!

  Maggie begins putting on her long-laced boots again. As she does she sings listlessly, almost inaudibly:

  Maggie

  ‘’Twas on the Isle of Capri that he found her

  Beneath the shade of an old walnut tree.

  Oh, I can still see the flowers blooming round her,

  Where they met on the Isle of Capri.’

  Kate If you knew your prayers as well as you know the words of those aul pagan songs! … She’s right: I am a righteous bitch, amn’t I?

  Maggie

  ‘She was as sweet as a rose at the dawning

  But somehow fate hadn’t meant it to be,

  And though he sailed with the tide in the morning,

  Still his heart’s in the Isle of Capri.’

  She now stands up and looks at her feet.

  Now. Who’s for a fox-trot?

  Kate You work hard at your job. You try to keep the home together. You perform your duties as best you can – because you believe in responsibilities and obligations and good order. And then suddenly, suddenly you realize that hair cracks are appearing everywhere; that control is slipping away; that the whole thing is so fragile it can’t be held together much longer. It’s all about to collapse, Maggie.

  Maggie (wearily) Nothing’s about to collapse, Kate.

  Kate That young Sweeney boy from the back hills – the boy who was anointed – his trousers didn’t catch fire, as Rose said. They were doing some devilish thing with a goat – some sort of sacrifice for the Lughnasa Festival; and Sweeney was so drunk he toppled over into the middle of the bonfire. Don’t know why that came into my head …

  Maggie Kate …

  Maggie goes to her and sits beside her.

  Kate And Mr Evans is off again for another twelve months and next week or the week after Christina’ll collapse into one of her depressions. Remember last winter? – all that sobbing and lamenting in the middle of the night. I don’t think I could go through that again. And the doctor says he doesn’t think Father Jack’s mind is confused but that his superiors probably had no choice but send him home. Whatever he means by that, Maggie. And the parish priest did talk to me today. He said the numbers in the school are falling and that there may not be a job for me after the summer. But the numbers aren’t falling, Maggie. Why is he telling me lies? Why does he want rid of me? And why has he never come out to visit Father Jack? (She tries to laugh.) If he gives me the push, all five of us will be at home together all day long – we can spend the day dancing to Marconi.

  Now she cries. Maggie puts her arm around her. Michael enters left.

  But what worries me most of all is Rose. If I died – if I lost my job – if this house were broken up – what would become of our Rosie?

  Maggie Shhh.

  Kate I must put my trust in God, Maggie, mustn’t I? He’ll look after her, won’t he? You believe that, Maggie, don’t you?

  Maggie Kate … Kate … Kate, love …

  Kate I believe that, too … I believe that … I do believe that …

  Maggie holds her and rocks her.

  Chris enters quickly left, hugging herself. She sees the boy at his kites, goes to him and gets down beside him. She speaks eagerly, excitedly, confidentially.

  Chris Well. Now you’ve had a good look at him. What do you think of him? Do you remember him?

  Boy (bored) I never saw him before.

  Chris Shhh. Yes, you did; five or six times. You’ve forgotten. And he saw you at the foot of the lane. He thinks you’ve got very big. And he thinks you’re handsome!

  Boy Aunt Kate got me a spinning-top that won’t spin.

  Chris He’s handsome. Isn’t he handsome?

  Boy Give up.

  Chris I’ll tell you a secret. The others aren’t to know. He has got a great new job! And he’s wonderful at it!

  Boy What does he do?

  Chris Shhh. And he has bought a bicycle for you – a black bike – a man’s bike and he’s going to bring it with him the next time he comes. (She suddenly embraces him and hugs him.)

  Boy Is he coming back soon?

  Chris (eyes closed) Maybe – maybe. Yes! Yes, he is!

  Boy How soon?

  Chris Next week – the week after – soon – soon – soon! Oh, yes, you have a handsome father. You are a lucky boy and I’m a very, very lucky woman. (She gets to her feet, then bends down again and kisses him lightly.) And another bit of good news for you, lucky boy: you have your mother’s eyes! (She laughs, pirouettes flirtatiously before him and dances into the kitchen.) And what’s the good news here?

  Maggie The good news here is … that’s the most exciting turf we’ve ever burned!

  Kate Gerry’s not gone, is he?

  Chris Just this minute.

  Agnes enters through the back door. She is carrying some roses.

  He says to thank you very much for the offer of the bed.

  Kate Next time he’s back.

  Chris That’ll be in a week or two – depending on his commitments.

  Kate Well, if the outside loft happens to be empty.

  Chris And he sends his love to you all. His special love to you, Aggie; and a big kiss.

  Agnes For me?

  Chris Yes! For you!

  Maggie (quickly) Those are beautiful, Aggie. Would Jack like some in his room? Put them on his windowsill with a wee card – ‘ROSES’ – so that the poor man’s head won’t be demented looking for the word. And now, girls, the daily dilemma: what’s for tea?

  Chris Let me make the tea, Maggie.

  Maggie We’ll both make the tea. Perhaps something thrilling with tomatoes? We’ve got two, I think. Or if you’re prepared to wait, I’ll get that soda-bread made.

  Agnes I’m
making the tea, Maggie.

  Chris Let me, please. Just today.

  Agnes (almost aggressively) I make the tea every evening, don’t I? Why shouldn’t I make it this evening as usual?

  Maggie No reason at all. Aggie’s the chef. (Sings raucously:)

  ‘Everybody’s doing it, doing it, doing it.

  Picking their noses and chewing it, chewing it,

  chewing it …’

  Kate Maggie, please!

  Maggie If she knew her prayers half as well as she knows the words of those aul pagan songs … (now at the radio) Marconi, my friend, you’re not still asleep, are you?

  Father Jack enters. He shuffles quickly across the kitchen floor, hands behind his back, eyes on the ground, as if he were intent on some engagement elsewhere. Now he becomes aware of the others.

  Jack If anybody is looking for me, I’ll be down at the bank of the river for the rest of the … (He tails off and looks around. Now he knows where he is. He smiles.) I beg your pardon. My mind was … It’s Kate.

  Kate It’s Kate.

  Jack And Agnes. And Margaret.

  Maggie How are you, Jack?

  Jack And this is –?

  Chris Chris – Christina.

  Jack Forgive me, Chris. You were only a baby when I went away. I remember Mother lifting you up as the train was pulling out of the station and catching your hand and waving it at me. You were so young you had scarcely any hair but she had managed to attach a tiny pink – a tiny pink – what’s the word? – a bow! – a bow! – just about here; and as she waved your hand, the bow fell off. It’s like a – a picture? – a camera-picture? – a photograph! – it’s like a photograph in my mind.

  Chris The hair isn’t much better even now, Jack.

  Jack And I remember you crying, Margaret.

  Maggie Was I?

  Jack Yes; your face was all blotchy with tears.

  Maggie You may be sure – beautiful as ever.

  Jack (to Agnes) And you and Kate were on Mother’s right and Rose was between you; you each had a hand. And Mother’s face, I remember, showed nothing. I often wondered about that afterwards.

  Chris She knew she would never see you again in her lifetime.

  Jack I know that. But in the other life. Do you think perhaps Mother didn’t believe in the ancestral spirits?

  Kate Ancestral –! What are you blathering about, Jack? Mother was a saintly woman who knew she was going straight to heaven. And don’t you forget to take your medicine again this evening. You’re supposed to take it three times a day.